Borderlands 2 is the first game where I regularly play girl characters. I found myself dying all the time with any of the male characters - the Commando, the Gunzerker and Assassin. My solo-play run-in-and-gun playstyle wasn’t working with them. But I’m finding my playstyle matches really well with the girl characters - the Mechromancer and Siren.
Normally, I play guy characters because that’s what I connect with. I’m a guy, I like being a guy, and I want my in-game avatar to be a guy. But because the mechanics are gender-separated in BL2 due to classes, I’m experiencing playing as a girl. I’m trying on a new avatar, a new persona, a new identity. When I wreck an area and run through the littered corpses of my enemies, I find myself saying “Yeeeahhh, guurrrrlll!” When I got hit with a grenade while selling some excess guns, I thought to myself “Can’t a girl get some shoe shopping done in peace around here?!” I also notice and appreciate that the enemies don’t call me a bitch constantly - right, Batman?
So it’s a ludology hack. Make certain gameplay styles or mechanics only compatible with the kinds of avatars users normally wouldn’t pick. Make certain options available only to the gay character, the hispanic or black character. Have a male/female magic system like the Wheel of Time, and have a transgender “Red Mage” character.
You could even adjust the difficulty for certain archetypes - make the game harder if you’re the gay character or a woman, since certain sexist characters in game won’t help you. Skyrim did this with the Khajit - it was really hard to persuade anyone as a cat. That way the ‘hardcore’ players will choose that identity to get a tougher experience. Or go the other way - make the game easier for a female character because all the NPC’s are aching to give you loot and hit on you. It’s easier, but… kinda creepy. And then male gamers get to see how it feels.
Get your players to try something new.